It's Raining...It's Pouring...

It's raining. Edouard, or as the news channels say ed-WARD, has arrived. It's not nearly as bad as they had been forecasting. It just seems like a gray, rainy day. The type of day that makes you want to sit by the fireplace with a cup of coffee (or a chai tea latte in my case) and read a book. Unfortunately is far too hot to turn the fire on and I have a counseling appointment scheduled this afternoon, so my cozy day at home is not going to happen.

Edouard has stirred up memories from 2005 when Hurricane Rita threatened Houston. It was a really stressful experience. I was living at my parents' home at the time and my dad was out of town. Myself, my mom and my brother David were in charge of preparing the home for a possible disaster. We had never been through a hurricane before so we didn't have past experience to rely on. We just did what we thought should be done. We moved furniture, covered windows, stacked mulch bags (we didn't have sand bags, so my mom brilliantly thought of using mulch bags instead). We even covered the front door and window with a large piece of carpet. We didn't have plywood, so we figured that the carpet would at least provide some protection for the glass around the entry.

After we prepared the house, all we could do was sit and wait. I can vividly remember sitting in the family room, watching the news, and waiting for the storm. At the time I knew in my heart that we were going to be ok. I knew that it might be scary, it might be messy, and it might be difficult, but I had faith that we would make it. But although I knew that we would make it through the hurricane, I still didn't want to go through the storm. I didn't want to feel the fear and do the dirty work. I kept thinking that I wish I could escape it. I didn't want to have the "experience". I felt a little angry that God was "making" me go through this storm.

Isn't that how we usually feel when we face a "storm" in life? It can be a health problem, financial issue, loss, relationship difficulty, or a number of any other "storms". We know somewhere in our heart that God will bring us through and we know that in the end we will have learned something valuable. But, I guess the question is, do we believe that what God has for us at the end of the storm is worth our pain and struggle to go through the storm? I'm not saying that we necessarily get a choice upfront about whether or not we want to be in the middle of a storm. After all, sometimes we just wake up and find ourselves there. I am saying though that our belief about God and His ability to redeem any storm in our lives for His purpose determines the burden that we will have to carry on our back through the storm. Wouldn't it be better to face a storm knowing that, if we allow Him to, God will carry the burden of making sure that this raging, explosive, unpredictable storm can be used for Kingdom purpose?

James tells us to:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " James 1:2-4

I say all of this because God is just now shedding light on some of the good that has come from the health storm that I have been caught in for the last two years. Isn't it funny that once the clouds begin to clear, God's light can shine through and highlight all of the ways in which He's using the storm for good? Often when we are in the thick of the storm there's no light shining down and all we can think about is how much it stinks to be caught in a storm. I don't know about you, but I did not consider it joy when the clouds covered me and I was engulfed by the rain, wind, and thunder of the storm. I wonder too, if when we are in a storm, we become so focused on the storm details that we miss any small breaks in the clouds that God might give us to remind us that He is still there working His good. We're too upset or anxious to see the break because we're already looking ahead towards the next storm band.

I wish that I had looked up more often in the midst of my storm. I'm sure that God broke the clouds a few times to try to encourage me, but I wasn't always looking for Him. As always though, God is faithful even when we are not. As Edouard neared the coast on Monday, I noticed that I was really very calm compared to other times that hurricanes or tropical storms have threatened the Texas coastline. Hopefully that confidence is mirrored in my spiritual life as well. Hopefully, the next time that I face a health storm I will be able to face it with less anxiety and more faith. And hopefully I will remember to keep my eyes open for the breaks in the clouds.