God is in the Details

While it has been far too long since I last posted, I wanted to document something on here. The other day I was reading Beth Moore's LPM blog and I was struck by something she said: "He is not only a God of the big things. Perhaps what astonishes us most in each of our private journeys with Him is that He is a God of the smallest, most intimate details. A God who does things with personal significance only He and we could have known. So, let's boast in that very dimension of our God today. Give a one-paragraph story of how He went out of His way and far beyond coincidence to show You His love...OR, used you in some detailed way to demonstrate His love to someone else" http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2009/07/hes-into-details.html. I immediately thought to myself 'man oh man have I got a story to share'. I rarely get the opportunity to share this story, but when I do I always rejoice at the glory of our God. Here's what I wrote:

When I read the topic that you posed for discussion I couldn’t help pausing to add my own “God is in the details” story. I was in the midst of my freshman year of college at a university in California, and struggling a bit to say the least. My family had just been transferred to Houston so I was feeling homesick. The ache in my heart kept pushing me to find comfort in a past high school relationship that was both unhealthy and forbidden by my parents. Not wanting to disobey my parents, I rationalized that talking to this person on the phone wasn’t “seeing” them again. One night after a long telephone conversation with this forbidden person I went to bed feeling sick inside. I felt trapped in a hole. I was lonely. I was directly disobeying my parents. I was hiding these secret conversations from my roommate, since knowing my past experiences with this individual she most certainly wouldn’t approve. I desperately wanted to be rescued and freed from the ache I felt inside and the constant pulls of temptation that I felt too weak to rise above. The very next day I struggled through the day and finally called my mom. She said that she had been waiting for me to call her. I began to cry and say that I was struggling and she told me this…The night before (remember I was in CA and my mom was in TX), she was awakened by a noise in the kitchen. She went out and realized that she heard my voice coming from the answering machine. She went over and listened. She could hear that I was talking to a male, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. One thing’s for sure, my voice was loud and clear. Confused, she picked up the phone. The answering machine clicked off and there was only a dial tone. While she felt worried, more than anything, she felt the need to pray for me. She spent a long while on her knees praying over me that night. She sensed God telling her that what He had just done was for me, not for her. When I called the next day, she already knew that I was struggling. As she relayed the story to me I was speechless. My God loved me so much that He would cross telephone wires from CA to TX so that someone would know I was struggling! I still get chill bumps when I recall that miracle. When I returned home later that year for Spring Break I had the chance to listen to the recording. There I was on my parents machine in TX having a conversation on the phone in CA. Needless to say, I could go on and on about all of the changes that resulted from that evening long ago. One thing is for sure, I know without a shadow of a doubt that our God is willing to go to great lengths and weave miraculous details together to remind us of His love. Courtney

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a...

Bench? Isn't she beautiful? Wait...she does a few tricks...

Now she's a storage chest! And for her final trick ladies and gentlemen she will turn into a...

Table! Can you believe it?

I found her a couple of months ago at Pier 1. I instantly fell in love and started planning where she could sit at my home. I decided on the entry area directly across from the dining room. She's a beautiful worn-white color and as you can see she is completely versatile. I just wasn't willing to pay the $450 price that Pier 1 was requiring for me to pay in order to take her home. So, she sat in Pier 1 for weeks. I would check on her now and then. Over the weekend Neil and I stopped in at a Pier 1 and I proudly introduced her. They really liked each other. She even had a clearance tag. This meant two things.

1. The store could no longer order any more. Once she was gone she would be gone for good.

2. I still wasn't convinced that the clearance price was the best price.

Neil and I walked away, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. Wouldn't she be adorable with pillows? Wouldn't it be fun to sit on her with a friend and chat during a party? How many linens or seasonal decor could I stuff into her trunk? And lastly...what about that table? I mean, how great would it be to have a table to pop up during parties if we need a place to set the food? I could just imagine myself with friends over, casually going over and, with the slide of a wrist, transforming what they thought was a plain ol' bench into a table! Can't you just hear the gasp in the room? No applause please.

On Monday my mom stopped by for lunch. I casually mentioned to her that there was an amazing piece of furniture at Pier 1 that I wanted to show her. I needed her for emotional support as I pondered over this decision. We went right over and she too was amazed. I asked the store clerk how many they had left in stock at the store. She said that the bench on the floor was the last one and that the other stores in the area also only had one. Oh she did mention that the Galveston store had two listed (umm...obviously the inventory hasn't been updated since Ike!). As I mulled over the decision some more, a man walked in and starting eyeing the bench. Without a word my mom and I instinctively moved next to the bench clearly indicating with our body language that he should keep on walking! As we sat on her and thought about how perfect she was my mom said that she would like to contribute a portion of the money since Neil and I had watched my parents' dog for the week. As if I could accept money for watching the family dog! But she was relentless, and after all, with her contribution, the price dropped into the range that I had decided I was willing to pay! Perfect! We paid and loaded her into the trunk(thankfully my mom still drives a minivan!).

I just love looking at her in the hall. I stop and sit on her once in a while dreaming of beautiful hand-stitched pillows (made by someone else of course!) and all of the wonderful trinkets I can store in her. Neil and I have plans to eventually paint the walls, so once that project is complete, her white-washed color will stand out beautifully. I'm so glad that she's home now!

Crank It Up!

As the power went out and Ike roared through Houston last week I quickly learned the value of "crank" power. A month or so ago I put together a hurricane kit for us and included in it several crank products. If you have never owned a crank powered flashlight or radio, let me be the first to tell you that I would now consider them to be an indispensable part of any disaster kit. Flashlights and radios that are crank powered are both affordable and easy to maintain. Plus you never have to worry about having batteries on hand and that means one less thing that you to worry about "refreshing" in your kit each year. Here are the two main crank products that we used during Ike:

1. Energizer Crank Flashlight

I bought two of these at Target. I think I paid around $16 dollars for each one. They quickly became the family's favorite flashlights. They were light in weight, have bright LED lights and they run for a long time on a few cranks.

2. American Red Cross FR150 Microlink Solar-Powered, Self-Powered AM/FM/Weatherband Portable Radio with Flashlight and Cell Phone Charger (Red) by Eton

By chance I ordered this crank radio off of amazon.com the Monday before Ike hit. At that point I didn't even know that Houston was a sure target. Neil and I LOVED this little crank radio/flashlight. Neil held this in his hands throughout the night when Ike hit just in case a tree cam crashing through the roof (what a guy!). It got great reception, even during the hurricane, and it also has a bright LED light. Plus it was only $30. It became a lifeline of sorts for us after the hurricane; providing the only link we had to information since we didn't have power.

I was pleasantly surprised by the lasting power of each of these products. When I bought the flashlights I had visions of Neil and I taking turns throughout the night cranking so that we could have brief moments of light. Not so. We barely had to crank these puppies. It was great. Of course, I'm sure that if we had kept them going non-stop we would have needed to crank a bit more. We used candles for constant light and the flashlights for supplemental purposes. If you do not have these items in your home or disaster kit I would strongly encourage you to have them. Come earthquake, blizzard, hurricane or any other disaster I promise you that these items will quickly become a part of your family!

Tag...I'm it!

About a billion days ago (ok, maybe slightly less) I was "tagged" by my UH pal Steph. For all of you blogging world newbies "tagging" is akin to the chain letters of yesteryear. I have never been tagged before, so you can imagine my delight when I read my name at the bottom of Steph's tag post. What fun! Then the reality hit me...I don't know anyone to tag at the bottom of my post! I know, take a moment to shed a tear or play a note or two on your violin for me. Most of my friends post on myspace or facebook. So, if you are reading this and I don't know you, let me know that you exist and then consider yourself tagged! Again, the chances of someone reading my blog who doesn't know me are fairly slim. I mean, I think my husband and my family read this. Oh and Steph! :-) Here we go...

The tagging rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. Write 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag

Random Facts About Courtney

1. I have very tricky big toes. I get them from my Dad, so I can't take complete credit. I can pick things up very easily with my toes (which I realize is not so amazing because many people can that), but most importantly, I can pinch really hard with my toes. Ask anyone who has ever slept in the same bed with me. If I get a wild hair I can slowly reach my foot over to the person next to me and grab on to a piece of their flesh and pinch with my toes. I know...it's amazing...doesn't it just make you want to keep reading?!

2. When i was in 6th grade I auditioned for the Disney Young Musicians Symphony Orchestra. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I saw a show about it on the Disney channel and suddenly I had the genius idea that I was a candidate for the group. You should know that I had been playing the flute for one year and had not had any private lessons whatsoever. I really thought though that my second chair position in my 6th grade junior high band was a strong indicator of my raw talent! I had to fill out a long application and get a letter of recommendation from my band instructor. I seriously don't know how people kept from laughing when I told them of my plan to audition. I lived in Northern CA at the time and the audition was in L.A. My dad sweetly volunteered to drive me to the audition and back (about a 7 hour drive each way). I had worked diligently on my two audition pieces...I know that one of them was actually a song from the Phantom of the Opera (a very professional selection). Needless to say, I was in way over my head. I went into the audition and played my two pieces (both of which they stopped me from playing to the end...never a good sign) and then they asked me to sightread a piece. I actually had to get out my fingering chart to figure out how to finger some of the notes before I played it! Even after all of that I remained ignorantly hopeful and thought that I might actually have a chance. Poor girl. I'm sure that the producers spent many hours in debate over my name, but in the end I was not selected to join the orchestra. Did I mention that the show required that, if selected, I had to go to orchestra camp for two weeks and that I couldn't even handle spending one night at a friends house due to homesickness? Ha!

3. I have never broken a bone or had stitches. I have never had a cavity (I actually went to the dentist yesterday for my six month cleaning and I am still cavity free!). I have also never had Chicken Pox. Don't worry, when the vaccine came out I had a blood test done that showed I had the antibodies for it, so apparently at some point I had the virus, but it didn't show itself. Knock on wood.

4. When I was little I really, really wanted to be on the show Kids Incorporated. I never missed an episode!


5. I am totally grossed out by hair in the sink in public restrooms. I try to avoid using a sink with hair in it at all times. When I come out of the stall to wash my hands I quickly scan the sinks and try to find the one without a strand of hair in it. I also check the sink after I wash my hands to make sure that I didn't leave any strands in it for the next person. Please check your sinks ladies and wash any strays down the drain before you leave. Don't even get me started on strands of hair in restaurants!

6. I love to play games. Card games, trivia games, board games, drawing games...you name it I love to play it. Some favorites are Scattergories, Backgammon, Uno, Monopoly, Life, Rummikub, Scene It!, Trivial Pursuit...and who can forget Mall Madness!

Well there it is. That took me a while. I'm sorry Steph that this was a dead-end road. Thanks for tagging me...I really was excited when I saw my name on your list!

Pure Grace

I love it when God meets me in unexpected places. It always reminds me how involved He is in the details of my life. Last week Neil and I packed our bags and headed to CA for one more family wedding fiesta. My cousin Blake married his Cal Poly sweetheart Stephanie at a beautiful wedding nestled in the Northern CA redwoods. Neil and I have visited Southern CA together three different times. I was born in Mission Viejo, CA so it's always fun to go back there and retrace memories from my childhood. This trip though, was our first trip to Northern CA and it included a visit to the city where I lived during my junior high and high school days.

As the trip approached I found myself twisting into knots. I hadn't been back to that city since October of my freshman year in college. My roommate and I traveled back to our high school for that post-graduation football game that everyone feels the urge to attend at some point. You know what I'm talking about. After leaving high school, I think we all return at least once to see if it still feels the same. It didn't feel the same and it only served to remind me how glad I was to be done with that season of my life.

We all have those moments in our past that make us cringe when we recall them. The content of the moment may vary from person to person, but we all get that deep-in-the-pit-of-our-stomach pang upon recollection of some of our more dingy moments. I had some, ok many, of my most dingy moments in high school. So I'm sure that you can predict my level of excitement at returning to that place... somewhere like -100 on a scale of 1-100!

I talked all of this over with my counselor right before I left on my trip. I didn't want to be bothered by returning to my home in N. CA. I wanted to be excited about taking my husband to see some of the landmarks of my teen years. Beyond that I had worked really hard to come clean before the Lord in my post-high school years. I knew and believed that I was a new creation in Christ "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone (glory!), the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17. But I still couldn't shake the nagging fear that I would bump into some skeletons with my husband at my side during this trip.

I promise that this will all tie together with God showing up in small places...I had to give some background for it to be meaningful!

As usual, my counselor offered up some morsels of wisdom for me to chew on. She told me that when I looked back at those "dingy moments" (my term) I needed to give myself grace. She said that people often look back at mistakes made in their youth and they evaluate them from an adult perspective. When we make mistakes in our youth we are making them with the limited cognitive and emotional resources that youth have. She told me to go sit in a youth group meeting and observe the teens there to give me some perspective on how I was at that age! I can't keep beating myself up as an adult for choices I made as a teen, no matter how blatantly sinful they were. She ended with telling me to spend time dwelling on the good memories while I was there and to give myself a lot of grace when I was confronted with any not so good memories.

I felt better and I even became excited at showing Neil around. We arrived in San Ramon on Thursday. I planned to take Neil around on a tour the next day. Thursday night we met with our dear friends the Breaults. They are those friends that no matter how long it has been, when you gather together it's as if no time has passed. I didn't want the evening to end, but unfortunately my body was ready to leave before my heart was. It had been a long day of traveling and by 11pm Neil and I figured we should go. As we headed out the door Daney (Mrs. B), hugged me and presented me with a little gift bag. Inside the sweetly wrapped bag was a bottle of lotion and the name of the lotion was...PURE GRACE!

I got in the car and just sat there stunned. God had given me a big reminder in a small gift. when I got back to the hotel I opened the bag and took out the bottle. The description on the back said "Pure Grace is the clean smell of soap and water, the memory of fresh air woven into a set of crisp, white cotton sheets, a cold deep breath on a snowy winter night, the best summer morning you have ever known, the one white T-shirt that feels better than all the rest… " What a fabulous reminder of the grace lavishly bestowed on us from the Lord!

The next morning as we prepared to tour some of my old stomping grounds, I rubbed the lotion onto my arms and neck. As I inhaled the clean, fresh, smell of Pure Grace, I reminded myself to allow God's grace to wash over any dingy moments that I stumbled on throughout that day. Isn't that just like our God to put a small bottle of "grace" in my path when I most needed a reminder of the overflowing grace that He gives? Where has He showed up in your life lately? He's very creative, so keep your eyes open and remember to STOP (savor the observable presence) each day.

Lesson Learned

I made a big mistake today. One that I hope never to repeat again. I had a busy day today full of "to do"s. One of stops was Sam's Club. We don't have one in Pearland yet, so I stop in Sugar Land when I can. One of the items that I frequently buy is wine. Neil and I love our Yellow Tail, and Sam's Club has the big bottles for a small price. On my way to the doctor's office I stopped and bought two bottles of wine. One white and one red. I then proceeded to the doctor's and then on to my parents' house. All the while I left the two bottles of wine in the car. Not only were they sitting in the hot, sweltering, car, they were sitting in the backseat. When I was driving home I thought that I smelled faint hints of wine in the air. Must just be the scent escaping the bottle in the heat right? WRONG! I got home only to find that the heat had melted the seal on the red wine and popped the cork. My back seat was filled with RED wine. It just couldn't have been the white wine, because I'm just not that lucky. Remember, this was a huge bottle and there was only about two glasses worth left in the bottle. So, what choice did I have? I grabbed our small upholstery cleaner and went to work, in the hot, sweltering, garage. 20 minutes later I was soaked with sweat and intoxicated by the smell of the wine. I cleaned up everything that I could. It looks pretty good at the moment...thank you gray upholstery...but I'm sure that as the days go by the wine that soaked deep into the cushions will surface. Between the heat and humidity, I'm not exactly sure when the wine smell will go away. If you are lucky enough to ride in my car anytime soon, please know that I wasn't drinking wine before you got in. Next time it's hot and I want to buy some wine I won't leave it in the car.

Lesson learned!

It's Raining...It's Pouring...

It's raining. Edouard, or as the news channels say ed-WARD, has arrived. It's not nearly as bad as they had been forecasting. It just seems like a gray, rainy day. The type of day that makes you want to sit by the fireplace with a cup of coffee (or a chai tea latte in my case) and read a book. Unfortunately is far too hot to turn the fire on and I have a counseling appointment scheduled this afternoon, so my cozy day at home is not going to happen.

Edouard has stirred up memories from 2005 when Hurricane Rita threatened Houston. It was a really stressful experience. I was living at my parents' home at the time and my dad was out of town. Myself, my mom and my brother David were in charge of preparing the home for a possible disaster. We had never been through a hurricane before so we didn't have past experience to rely on. We just did what we thought should be done. We moved furniture, covered windows, stacked mulch bags (we didn't have sand bags, so my mom brilliantly thought of using mulch bags instead). We even covered the front door and window with a large piece of carpet. We didn't have plywood, so we figured that the carpet would at least provide some protection for the glass around the entry.

After we prepared the house, all we could do was sit and wait. I can vividly remember sitting in the family room, watching the news, and waiting for the storm. At the time I knew in my heart that we were going to be ok. I knew that it might be scary, it might be messy, and it might be difficult, but I had faith that we would make it. But although I knew that we would make it through the hurricane, I still didn't want to go through the storm. I didn't want to feel the fear and do the dirty work. I kept thinking that I wish I could escape it. I didn't want to have the "experience". I felt a little angry that God was "making" me go through this storm.

Isn't that how we usually feel when we face a "storm" in life? It can be a health problem, financial issue, loss, relationship difficulty, or a number of any other "storms". We know somewhere in our heart that God will bring us through and we know that in the end we will have learned something valuable. But, I guess the question is, do we believe that what God has for us at the end of the storm is worth our pain and struggle to go through the storm? I'm not saying that we necessarily get a choice upfront about whether or not we want to be in the middle of a storm. After all, sometimes we just wake up and find ourselves there. I am saying though that our belief about God and His ability to redeem any storm in our lives for His purpose determines the burden that we will have to carry on our back through the storm. Wouldn't it be better to face a storm knowing that, if we allow Him to, God will carry the burden of making sure that this raging, explosive, unpredictable storm can be used for Kingdom purpose?

James tells us to:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " James 1:2-4

I say all of this because God is just now shedding light on some of the good that has come from the health storm that I have been caught in for the last two years. Isn't it funny that once the clouds begin to clear, God's light can shine through and highlight all of the ways in which He's using the storm for good? Often when we are in the thick of the storm there's no light shining down and all we can think about is how much it stinks to be caught in a storm. I don't know about you, but I did not consider it joy when the clouds covered me and I was engulfed by the rain, wind, and thunder of the storm. I wonder too, if when we are in a storm, we become so focused on the storm details that we miss any small breaks in the clouds that God might give us to remind us that He is still there working His good. We're too upset or anxious to see the break because we're already looking ahead towards the next storm band.

I wish that I had looked up more often in the midst of my storm. I'm sure that God broke the clouds a few times to try to encourage me, but I wasn't always looking for Him. As always though, God is faithful even when we are not. As Edouard neared the coast on Monday, I noticed that I was really very calm compared to other times that hurricanes or tropical storms have threatened the Texas coastline. Hopefully that confidence is mirrored in my spiritual life as well. Hopefully, the next time that I face a health storm I will be able to face it with less anxiety and more faith. And hopefully I will remember to keep my eyes open for the breaks in the clouds.